Block 3

Technically in class. Not really listening. But it's nothing I haven't heard before.

My computer has come back from the dead! For reasons still unknown, it started freezing, spasming, and giving me the blue screen of death the day after Thanksgiving. Bubba couldn't figure it out. Took it to the IT center at Temple, who couldn't find any viruses on it. I had to take it back the next day so the IT guys could essential kill it, then resuscitate it.

I had most everything saved on my hard drive, but now for some reason it won't load. But my computer works-- and that's good enough.

Was halfway sick and rundown the first week back. I was hoping that they'd ease us into the new block, but it was wild. Reading assignments, daily group work, weekly quizzes.... Which would be as bad if the course wasn't incredibly and frustratingly disorganized!! And the amount of the reading assignments-- I don't understand how they think we have the time to finish it!

At least I'm feeling less sickly. Still got a bit of a throat tickle, and I got an obscene amount of rest over the weekend. I think it was worth it, because I'm feeling a bit more "with it" mentally today. And it was a good weekend to rest, because Philly got its first snow. It started Saturday evening and went all night. There's still a bit accumulated in the grass...

If nothing else, at least I won't have to worry about a midterm until after winter break.

Deadlines

I've been meaning to update for the past week or so. It's been an excessively busy week . . . and a lot of it has been stress regarding the upcoming exam. There's just too much to know!! Even though I've been studying for two weeks, I feel like I barely know the material any better, which makes the whole process all the more exhausting.

I'm actually losing my mind a little . . . I'll forget where I put something, less than ten seconds after I set it down. It's like being drunk, without the sloppy carefree joy and senselessly heightened self-esteem. I feel like I have stress-induced hypoglycemia. If I don't eat every few hours, I get nauseous and light-headed. The feeling gets progressively worse until it's pretty much debilitating, even after I eat something. My answer? Eat. Simple enough.

Excited to see the family over Thanksgiving, though I think I might be a little ambitious to take on a twelve-hour drive after the effect this exam is having on me. (On the other hand, maybe I'll be on a high-energy kick once it's over with.) I'm especially thrilled to see Mahlon & Layla; I don't like that they're growing without me!! (How dare they!)

Must remember to get an oil change tomorrow . . .

In other events-- learned how to feel a liver this week. (It's not easy.) I met up with my preceptor and reviewed a video-taped history-taking session, which wasn't quite as embarrassing as I figured. Thursday night I volunteered at a clinic through TempleCARES at a local women's shelter. I got to practice talking to patients, and I got some exposure to almost disturbingly real scenarios. I enjoyed it though, and it was well worth the two hours of study time I sacrificed. There were a lot of kids running around the shelter, most of whom wanted attention from us. I helped one little girl listen to her heart with my stethoscope.

Getting late. Need sleep for energy tomorrow.

Incredibly Idle

The school decided to do a massive network test after lecture today... I think they're just trying to get as many people online as possible to see if we can crash the server. And of course, to synchronize three to four hundred users, it takes some organization, it takes some time . . . Time which I could be using to actually do something. Or to rest.

Funny thought: during undergrad, I never would've started studying for an exam -- even a final exam -- two weeks in advance. A funnier thought is that I won't ace it -- which actually has little to do with my intelligence and more to do with the amount of material.

In undergrad, I never would've been satisfied with 79% on an exam. Funny thought.

Metabolizing

I am a lecture and a half behind. Forget even thinking about reviewing! My current enemy: metabolic pathways of amino acids. Seriously. There's a different pathway for each one, and they all have synthesis, degradation, interconversion, transamination, and a large pool of products they can make. It's enough to make your brain explode.

So, even though class was blissfully over at noon today, I'm in the library with my notes and every color highlighter I could find, and I'm not leaving until I've absorbed this week's material. And maybe reviewed a little. This is no time to be distracted by Jon Stewart. Or by blogging.

Tonight would be good for scary movie night.. If no one in the class is interested, I'll do it myself :)

Looking Ahead (and behind)

Final exam in two weeks. Time has a way of creeping up on me. Feeling very behind. The librarian (he's ultra-cool) told me, when he saw me in the library on one of our days off a week ago: there is no getting ahead in med school. I told him, I'm aware of that; I'm just trying to get as little behind as possible.

Long day today. It's going to be an 8 to 5:30. (Approximately two hours of that time will not be taken up by class.) And this is an extra awesome design for a Monday, because it means I get to deal with horrible traffic both ways.

I've had very bad motivation lately; I'm not sure why. I've been incredibly tired, too. I slept a lot over the weekend, had really strange, vivid dreams. Had trouble making myself get out of bed (although if I'd had a commitment to get to, I'm sure I could have). Haven't treadmilled for about a week. Having trouble making myself focus when I study; it's very in-one-ear-and-out-the-other, which is very daunting when dealing with so much information. Not sure what's wrong with me. I don't think it's depression; I'm pretty good at identifying that. Don't feel like I'm getting sick, either. (This occurred to me at the Franklin, about halfway through my shift: a lot of people have been touching those plastinated organs . . . I'll be amazed if I don't get the flu!) Maybe it's just a minor burn-out. Maybe it's a matter of inertia.

Wanting to come home for Thanksgiving -- but do I fly or drive? (If the latter, I should be booking it soon. You know, the whole time-creeping-up-on-me thing.) And what do I do with Kitty for four days? (That litter box would get reeeaaallly full.) More things to think about . . .

Eat Fish, Live Longer

. . . . . . . Maybe.

Good News!!

I finally have internet in my apartment! (Just in time, too, because suddenly the lectures can only be viewed while online.) We got the modem connected on Saturday, and I spent most of the afternoon being angry because I couldn't get the wireless router to work. Yesterday, I enlisted a male classmate to fix it, luring him in with the promise of taco salad. (It's really good taco salad! I've been pretty proud of my culinary skills lately...) It actually took him a good while to figure it out -- which made me feel a bit better about my futile struggle... So now maybe I'll get more studying done while at school, now that I don't have to use my internet time for my essential crosswords and facebooking... Or maybe I'll just blog much more often. Or I'll end up skipping class because I get to bed way way later due to streaming cartoons in my bedroom. We'll see.

To sweeten the deal, we got the first six months for $20, instead of the regular $45 or so that was quoted on their pricing pamphlet. And the cable guy gave Mr. Kitty a new name: King Julian. (Madagascar, anyone?) It's actually very appropriate: he believes he's king, and acts like it, despite what anyone tells him or whatever might happen that proves otherwise.

SEPTA -- the Philly public transit system -- is on strike, starting at 3 AM today. This is sort of what we get for living in a pro-union city. SEPTA went on strike in 2005, lasting 7 days. Before that, there was a strike in the '90s that lasted 40 days... (It was, quite literally, of biblical proportions.) Times like this, I'm glad to live in the suburbs & drive!

trick or treat, smell my feet, give me pumpkin pie to eat

I sort of jumped right from Halloween into the Thanksgiving season. Allow me to explain . . . It was really Jess who sent me over the edge. Yesterday I received an extremely heartfelt package from her. I knew she was sending pics of the kids -- which I really wanted -- but she also sent chocolove bars, Bolivian alpaca wool mittens, and a warm, supportive card. I nearly cried. Then I thought about the hand-knit microbes Mom sent earlier last week. And I thought about the blissfully honest communication between me and Niles. And Jenni texting me just to ask how I'm doing. And Alisha's free hugs-on-demand. Thinking about all this last night, I just felt so incredibly lucky. Literally, it's incredible. It's beyond belief that I have all these people who not only think about me, care about me, love me, and support me, but who also will not rest until they're sure that I know it. Seriously-- what did I do to deserve this?

Lots of little things still anger me. It's getting too cold outside. Biochem is hard. We finally got internet set up in our apartment, but I can't get it to work. Internet Explorer mysteriously died on my computer. I stayed home all night and only got one trick-or-treater. But it's really all small stuff; I have to keep reminding myself of that.

On to less sappy events . . . . Apologies to anyone currently gagging.

So-- white coat ceremony was this Friday. When I was little, I honestly believed that conventions, ceremonies, and speeches would become less boring when I was older and actually cared about the subject. Now I think maybe we just get better at hiding the boredom. Anyhow, it was all a great success. Lots of clapping and cheering.

Bioscience midterm was Monday. WOW that made a rough start to the week. I still maintain that a good amount of questions on that exam were never, ever discussed in lectures. But I passed. The answer key was posted within a few hours, so no one had to sweat for too long. Still made for a stressful week. Had to recuperate on Tuesday, which automatically put me behind in the material for the final exam. I'm nearly caught up now.

Was ecstatic at the opportunity to talk with Mahlon. Jess had him call to say "happy white coat day," which was of course adorable. He speed-dialed me a little later (I don't think he knew it was me) to ask if I could go trick-or-treating, then told me he loved me. It's been a heart-warming sort of weekend . . .

And on that note, I should probably "for real" study, instead of pretend-study like I've mostly been doing today. We're deep in the belly of metabolism. It seems like I must be one of very, very few people in this world concerned about phosphorylases...

Am I an Owl or a Bee?

It's been a busy sort of week, complete with full sorts of days. Monday and Tuesday were both eight-to-fives (or would have been, had I attended the 8 AM lecture)... Knowing I can watch the lecture online makes it somewhat more difficult to motivate myself in the morning. Today is a bit better; I have the afternoon free (besides catching up on lectures and studying, of course). The midterm is closing in too quickly....

Luckily, everything in this block is already familiar, thanks to the Molecular Biology and Cell Biology courses I took last year at IU. But having four lecture hours worth of material each day builds up quickly -- really quickly.

Monday afternoon, I met with my randomly assigned physician mentor, who is a pediatrician at a nearby children's hospital. I enjoyed meeting her, but she wasn't able to take me around to patients due to my lack of white coat. So it felt kind of useless staying there for two hours when I wasn't doing anything or learning much. Went home exhausted.

Tuesday afternoon, I had my first assigned session for a program called Big Friends, which puts med students in charge of a small group of elementary kids (this year, they're nine-year-olds) to engage them in activities after school. WOW those kids had energy... Some of them, anyway, and that was enough. It was still a generally good time, aside from the screaming and the jumping and the whining about homework.

Tomorrow, I begin learning how to give physical exams. The first step is HEENT (head/eyes/ears/nose/throat). I'm rather excited to see a retina.... I've been practicing listening to Kitty's lungs so I'll be ready for the next step: pulmonary. On a side note, his heart beats incredibly fast!

Friday, I'm skipping class -- at least, the first part of it. Body Worlds opens at the museum on Saturday, and the staff and volunteers get to preview the exhibit Friday morning. I'm pretty excited about it. I hear they plastinated a camel... which honestly raises all kinds of questions for me...

All for now, I think. I should get back to the clinical and diagnostic applications of recombinant DNA. Or I may end up taking a quick library nap... That delicious [yet overprised] asiago bagel isn't sitting quite right.... I suddenly miss BBC.

Emergence

OK, so I disappeared there for a little while. Things got a little crazy. Well-- even more so than usual, that is.

Survived the Anatomy final exam. Didn't ace it, but I passed it. That one guy in my lab group -- the one who did sports medicine in undergrad and already knew the entire course before it was taught -- he was the first to finish his written exam. I was so irritated with him.... I wish I had that weird weapon from No Country for Old Men... Or maybe I was just in another angry mood that day. Then during the practical, he walked through the lab with this air of confidence while every other student was squirming and struggling... I'm hoping he knows nothing about biochemistry... It'd really make me feel better.

So our second block -- Elements of Bioscience -- hasn't been too intense just yet. Honestly, a good bit of it is review from undergrad classes. (I'm really glad I took Cell Biology last year -- even if I've already forgotten a lot of it!) And it's really good that it's mostly review, because it's been a little disorienting... The difference in class structure, going from Anatomy to this, has been rather jolting. I'd just figured out productive ways to take notes and study for Anatomy; now I've got to rethink my study plan. And the fact that this switch happened in the middle of the week didn't help things either.

Also this past week, I had my first videotaped one-on-one interview with a standardized patient. For anyone who doesn't know-- standardized patients are basically actors who play the part of a specific patient who has come into the clinic for one reason or another. They represent actual cases (though I don't know where they get them). So far we've just taken histories, but later on we'll be starting physical exams. They're actually a lot more than actors, though; they're really professional patients. They can tell you your strengths and weaknesses, and whether you're doing a procedure correctly.

This session was actually really useful. (I haven't seen the video yet... I hate watching myself on tape. Then again, I think most people probably do.) My biggest problem was forgetting to ask certain questions during the history-taking. I completely neglected to ask about alcohol/tobacco/drug use. But my standardized patient (who has been doing this for a long, long time) gave me a pretty positive review, so that was really encouraging. Apparently, I'm pretty good at putting forward a comfortable yet professional demeanor.

The weekend has been fairly busy, too. Saturday, Alisha & I went shopping for decor to fill our all-too-bare walls. The adventure was incredibly successful, minus a small scuffle with IKEA. (On a side note -- that store is MASSIVE!) I found I'm really drawn to funky metal works for some reason. Today, I had my orientation/training session at the Franklin Institute for the Body Worlds 2 exhibit. I will actually probably skip class the day before the exhibit opens so I can tour it before having to answer questions about it. (It's okay -- the lectures are taped and posted online so I can listen later.) There are going to be some definite benefits to this volunteer gig.... I get free admission to the museum (and I've got to admit -- that giant heart is pretty darn cool) and IMAX every so often.

So the busy weekend has left very little time for studying. Was going to read over some notes once I'd laid in bed last night, but Kitty obviously disagreed, since he made himself comfortable right across my chest. I gave in and turned out the light. There will always be more time to study....

Room 105

It's been a long sort of week . . . Again.

Monday was a terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad day. (Am I allowed to say that without trademark approval?) It was an unusually long day, due to a new class starting. But honestly, it was largely in my mood. I just felt angry toward everyone for no reason. Or, if I had a reason, it wasn't a very good one. I actually felt the need to apologize to a classmate after snapping at him. Also had a headache most of the day, which didn't help things.

Tuesday was a little less angry; it seemed to fade throughout the course of the day. Maybe I just got too tired to be angry anymore.

By Wednesday, I was over the mood thing. Unfortunately, I'd spent a lot of energy being mad, which meant I had less energy to spend trying to understand the temporal bone. (I still don't entirely get it. It's too oblique, got too many twists & turns.)

Thursday, we had another interview with a standardized patient -- this time, we were required to do Chief Complaint, History of Present Illness, Past Medical History, Social History, Family History, and the Review of Systems. Thankfully, they let us use a cheat sheet; otherwise I never would've remembered it all... I hear from a 2nd year that you eventually get pretty good at it. I think I've already improved from the last time we did this, so here's hoping.

Today I woke up with another headache (last night's headache, I think), but I medicated immediately and it's not so bad now. There's a quiz today, but I'm honestly not worried about it. The way my grade is now, I doubt I'll be getting a "high pass." But whether I get a 100% or 0% on this quiz, as long as I pass the final (which is required to pass the course anyhow), I'll be all right.

Good news though -- the volunteer coordinator from the Franklin Institute called me this week. (It was on Tuesday, and it kind of took a lot of effort to have a friendly, professional phone conversation.) We set up an interview time for next Wednesday. She seemed fairly impressed with me, so I suppose it'll work out pretty well. (The website for the exhibit is here, if you're interested in checking it out.) I'm pretty excited about it... I wanted to see the exhibit when it went through Indy but never did. And I really need a regular weekend activity...

This weekend will be: study for anatomy final, go to bank, study, do laundry (studying throughout), clean bathroom, study . . . .

The final is Tuesday -- not this next Tuesday, but the one after. It's cumulative-- so to learn the entire body all over again, I pretty much need to start now. On a related note, if my nasty mood returns, that may be why...

Sleeping in the Woods

For a short week, it's certainly been an intense one. Tuesday was rough, of course, having messed up my sleep schedule over the long weekend. In the past four days of lab, we covered the entire pelvis and started on the head/neck region. Labs were especially intense -- but I'll omit the details for the sake of everyone cringing at home. Then, appropriately enough, we had a discussion this week regarding our feelings and opinions on the body donor program. Perhaps that was intentionally scheduled this week.

Two more weeks of the head and neck, amd anatomy will be behind us. Stethoscopes should be in soon. (I plan to practice on Kitty. Hopefully he'll be able to stop purring.) We get our white coats in a large ceremony on October 30th. It's only been a month, but it feels like I've been in med school much longer. It's strange that I feel so far into this, and I'm still missing such essential "doctoring" equipment.

Applied to be a guide for the Body Worlds exhibit at the Franklin Institute. I'd be interested to see the exhibit -- the whole museum actually -- and it'd give me something productive to do on the weekends besides study. And it'd help me learn a new part of Philly. So here's hoping good things come of that.

Some Quick Good News

Midterm grades are in, and I did better than the class average -- which is honestly better than I expected! Makes me feel a little better about having a final in a few weeks.

School has been wild. We dissected the entire abdomen last week -- and there's a LOT of stuff crammed into the abdominal cavity! Honestly, we went from spleen to pancreas to intestine to kidneys to lumbar plexus . . . I feel like I'm keeping up all right, but I'm incredibly grateful for the three-day weekend. I wish I had a barbecue to go to or something . . .

All for now!

Don't get me started on omentum . . .

MIDTERM'S OVER!!!!! And there was much rejoicing throughout the land of Temple . . .

I think I did pretty well, too. Grades aren't out just yet (it takes awhile to grade 200 answer sheets by hand), but judging from the posted answer key, I was well within "passing."

To clarify-- there aren't A's, B's, C's, etc. Over 70% is passing. If you're in the higher part of your class, you could get a "high pass," or if you're really special, a "pass with honors." I'd be perfectly satisfied with a "pass" myself. And I'm pretty proud of myself, attacking the midterm like that.

I was in a strangely wonderful mood Friday morning, too. The night before I'd been studying to ska music (very upbeat), and I woke up with it still in my head. I didn't have to be at campus until noon, so I slept in an extra hour and did my make-up (which I hadn't bothered with in weeks). I baffled everyone at school by being so smiley. (I calmed down appropriately by the time we started the exam.) I honestly can't explain the mood; I just grooved on it.

So over the weekend, I caught up on sleep. Wow, did I need it. And wow, did I get it!! Now, if I can manage to get my schedule regular again, I'll be set. Also went to a first-year end-of-midterm party Friday night (I have the feeling we'll be having these every three weeks or so), and showed off my dancing skills with my fellow Owls. One of my labmates called me crazy. :) It was a great way to blow off some steam.

Not wasting any time, we cracked open the abdomen today. Monday morning is NOT the time for a four-hour lab. Funny-- the past three weeks we did the back, the upper limb, the lower limb, and the thorax. All that's left is the abdomen, pelvis, head and neck. But there's SO MUCH crammed in that small space-- it'll probably be a bit more challenging.

True to form, Big Bill was difficult. Far too much omentum, and abnormally large organs. His transverse colon was as big as my forearm! You'd think the size would make it easy to find these things, but with all that connective tissue . . .

In non-anatomical news, I see my first standardized patient this week -- Thursday, to be exact. It's not actually a patient, but an actor paid to simulate the doctor-patient experience. They videotape us taking a history, then we get to watch it and learn what we did well and not-so-well. Yes-- it's a bit terrifying. But I have a feeling it'll be fun too.

Plenty for now.

Papillary muscles

For the record, I am adamantly against midterms in August. It's just not right.

Given that, it's been a bit busy around here . . . Even when I get a good amount of sleep, I'm still exhausted. But I think that's just part of it.

We've left the limbs and gotten visceral. :) Friday we extracted lungs, which I found absolutely amazing. I honestly didn't expect them to have the texture of memory foam, but they really do! And, as luck would have it, there's not much they're expecting us to memorize on the lungs. Today, we cut into the heart. Also pretty amazing.

Our instructors rotated -- I've got Dr. Schneck now. Some students I've spoken to sounded intimidated by him. My opinion sits with that of most students -- he's awesome. I don't find him stressful at all. He knows everything about this subject, and he always emphasizes things that we need to know. He's more than willing to spend time with students. And the first day of class, when I raised my hand, he called on me. By name. And pronounced it correctly.

Considering taking Kitty outside with me once it cools down a little... It's a pretty quiet area around my apartment. And it'd be good for him to run around a little before winter. But once he goes out once, he wants out all the time-- and I just can't put up with that. And he's doing pretty well as an indoor cat. He's re-taught himself to play fetch, and he seems to be rather well-adjusted. I figure I'll play it by ear, as always...

Smells like old curry . . .

First, I need to publicly thank Jess. That was incredibly thoughtful, just what I needed. Last week was really long, and I was starting to feel pretty exhausted and isolated. I'm wearing the necklace now; it reminds me that even when I feel like an idiot for not remembering one artery or the other, I've got a good few people who believe in me.

Sorry-- that came out sounding really cheesy. I'll move on.

Feeling better than I was Friday. I was getting pretty worn out. It seems like pushing information in my brain is like throwing wet spaghetti at the fridge. It'll stick . . . peel away . . . and fall right back out of my skull. Made a list of ways to de-stress. Reminded myself that my goal is to survive -- and the faculty won't let me drown.

Guess I might just end up swallowing a little saltwater.

Week Two begins with the lower limb. I dissected a butt today. (Literally-- the gluteal muscles, and parts betwixt.) It was... messy. One doctor would identify something as the glutius medius; another would say it's the piriform. Makes it a little more difficult. Spent maybe twenty minutes digging out different vessels. As one instructor said, our cadaver has "more connective tissue than anyone should be allowed to have." I'm not sure what that means, but I know I don't like it.

My to-do list doesn't seem to get any shorter . . . Need to start that bank account, get my printer replaced, sign up for insurance (which isn't open yet, for some reason). The apartment still hasn't replaced our stove, and the bathroom's still a bit of a mess. I've still got a lot of half-empty boxes around... And I need to study, of course.

Discovered an open mic night at a local coffeehouse. Went there last Thursday to watch dissection videos online (no internet at the apartment yet)... which I still did. But afterwards I listened to live music. Planning on going back; it seems like a nice way to unwind for an hour or two. Plus, everyone there seemed really friendly.

Very glad I live in the suburbs.

And for anyone still wondering -- the title of this blog was taken from a friendly conversation with my roommate in which I was teasingly accusing Indians of smelling bad. Mystery solved.

Big Bill

Please don't bury me
Down in that cold cold ground
No, I'd druther have 'em cut me up
And pass me all around
Throw my brain in a hurricane
And the blind can have my eyes
And the deaf can take both of my ears
If they don't mind the sighs

Anatomy lab was an experience. Within five minutes, I was holding the back half of someone's vertebral column. That was kind of an initial shock. (For the record, I didn't expect it to fall out entirely. Turns out, they'd sawn through it so we could get to the actual spinal cord.) After that, the shock largely wore off. By the end of 2.5 hours, two of my fingers were numb from the embalming fluid soaking through my glove. I was kind of not okay with that . . . But I may just have to get used to smelling like formaldehyde for the next couple months.

I named our donor "William." (We don't know their actual information, other than age, occupation, and cause of death -- and even that should be treated as PHI.) He's large -- very large. And difficult to roll . . .

As my instructor emphasized yesterday: he may be my first patient, but he's not going to recover. He won't complain, and -- most importantly -- he can't sue. I have to wonder, when these people agreed to donate their bodies to science, if they knew they would be hacked and prodded by clumsy first-year medical students who would accidentally cut through nerves and messily extract fat deposits from their armpits. It's not a very dignified way to spend the afterlife. I don't think it's exactly what John Prine had in mind.

Midterm in two and a half weeks. Final exam on October 1st. It's a bit frightening. Bedroom is still a wreck -- but less of one. Small deficits around our apartment are slowly getting fixed. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Saw Niles yesterday for the last time until who-knows-when. I feel pretty okay about it, really. As I told him, it's likely that we'll both be so busy, we'll barely have time to miss each other. Maybe in passing, but not really miss each other, anyway -- not to the point where your body physically aches.

Speaking of "busy," I'm already behind on studying. Oughta get to it.

Lara + Netter = BFF

Or so I'm told.

Not dissecting today, so I'm in "self-study." Actually, I'm currently in a break from "self-study." I got pretty far in the last two hours; I'm allowed. Lunch was corn chowder. Probably going to need another lunch later.

Still trying to get a grasp on my schedule. It doesn't help that some sections don't start until next week, and others don't start until September. Then Anatomy itself is broken up into labs, conferences (I'm still not sure what these are), and self-study times, which alternate every other day.

It's hard to stay ahead when you're not sure where exactly you're supposed to be. It seems suddenly daunting to think about the incredible amount of work, time, and commitment laying immediately before me. "One day at a time" isn't really applicable, since I need to think ahead about a week. So-- One Step at a Time.

Step One: the back. Structure of the spine's bones and ligaments, roots of spinal nerves and where they go, deep muscle structures, and a lot of other stuff I can't remember because it's been ten minutes since I've read through it.

Repetition is the key to retention.

Considering an elective, though I'm not sure if I want to tackle anything extra right off-hand. But it is pass/fail... And the one I'm interested in is taught by my possibly favorite doctor ever. When I met him, he was surprised I'd come all the way from Indiana. I told him that the one medical school in Indiana hadn't wanted me. He responded immediately, without even blinking: "F*** 'em."

Gratuitous language in itself doesn't really impress me. But it was in my defense. And somehow, his crass bluntness seems to make him more accessible. You get the feeling that if you did something wrong in his class, he'd definitely tell you -- but it'd still be okay.

Returning to the vertebrae . . .

Activity

I feel like I've barely sat still. Of course-- I've been doing a lot of sitting still. But I'm always busy. Once again, probably something I should get used to.

Tuesday, I called the gas company about our oven, which the technicians told us was leaking. I think the apartment has yet to fix it. Had to take deep breaths while on the phone to keep from snapping at the rude operator, who seemed to think my apartment should have a letter rather than a number. Made it to the social event that night. Ladder 15 had amazingly good food!! Sometimes bar fare really surprises me...

Watched Wit yesterday. Excellent movie. I cried. Three times.

My feet are in pain... I was wearing probably five band-aids on them today. Blisters everywhere. My back and neck ache from dragging around my laptop (in addition the rest of my life). This afternoon, I got to add a box containing half a human skeleton to my load.

This morning, my roommate's car mysteriously died after hitting a huge something in the road. We ended up pushing it into the nearest parking lot -- which was a feat in of itself, especially since I was wearing heels and a skirt. Then we had to walk back to our apartment to get my car instead. We still got to campus just in time to have our PPDs read and grab a bite before we had to sit and get talked at awhile longer.

So orientation is over. My facebook is just exploding with new friend requests. Good news: no more button-down shirts and incredibly uncomfortable walking shoes. Bad news: now they actually expect something of me. But Anatomy is shaping up to be interesting and challenging. Today I met the cadaver with which I'll be spending the next 2 1/2 months.... I'm on the slate to wield the scalpel on Tuesday. Not sure I even know where to start . . . .

The Owl Has Landed

And on the sixth day, all the junk was finally moved into the apartment. And on the seventh day, they rested.... and took a trip to Chinatown.

Made it to Philly, with some difficulty and frustration along the way. I think Dad almost strangled me when I locked my keys in my car at a McDonald's in Ohio. Kitty took the incident well, though -- and if anyone had license to be upset, it was him. He traveled well, though... surprisingly well. It was downright unprecedented! He whined a little, but he mostly just slept in his carrier for the entire twelve hours. He was good and freaked out when we finally got him in his new habitat, though....

Thursday: moving out of Bloomington, cleaning my old apartment, loading and re-loading the van. Got gross and sweaty.

Friday: up at 3:30 am (after very, very little sleep), on the road at 5, fog & rain along the way (and the McDonald's incident), rolled into Philly twelve hours later. Began moving in boxes and small furniture, got gross and sweaty.

Saturday: the big stuff: desk, bookshelf, mattresses.... and the couch (which was an adventure all its own. Really. It almost didn't make it). Really gross. Really sweaty. Brief afternoon nap, then attempted to find Temple from my apartment. Succeeded, eventually. (Dad suggested I not take this particular route, especially not while wearing a tank top. I found it amusing, but he was really, really right.) Preliminary grocery shopping. Feet throbbed at the end of the day.

Sunday: lots of sleep. Local coffee shop. Failed attempts at public transit. Found Chinatown, had bubble tea (I spit the tapioca onto the street), ate sushi. (It didn't stay in me long.) Helped my roomie move in, later in the evening. More foot throbbing, just slightly gross and sweaty.

Monday: day one of orientation. Lots of walking, lots of listening, lots of socializing. Near the end of the day, I decided to sit by myself and write. I just felt too tired to make any attempts at polite, witty, or intelligent conversation. Missed the barbecue, because I fell asleep shortly after getting home. And -- you guessed it -- foot throbbing.

Tuesday: day two of orientation. More sitting than yesterday, but still managed to get damaged on the foot. Wasn't listening well by the end of it.

Loving Temple so far. I've just felt completely drained for the past five days or so. (On the plus side, I've been falling asleep much faster!) Hmm.... I should probably get used to the exhaustion...

Need a smaller scrubs size. Need to get titers done. Need to sign up for health insurance. Need to buy a few more supplies for the apartment. Would like a nap. Don't think it's in the cards.

Movin' On Up

To the east side. The far east side.

The move is impending. I've been driving myself crazy attempting to organize and pack up my apartment. For some reason, the more I work, the more cluttered and messy everything seems to get! I've still got four or five days to get the rest of it done; my goal is to just make a little progress each day.

That is, if I'm making any progress at all.

Three years ago, I was determined to get the hell out of this slow, boring, po-dunk state. Now I'm scared to leave. Well-- not scared, exactly. The scary part is learning my way around a new environment. The leaving part is more nostalgia. Things I've seen a thousand times over suddenly seem immensely important. Stores and restaurants in Anderson that I've never even been in-- I feel like I'm losing something. What if, the next time I'm home, The Lemon Drop has been bulldozed? What if Harvest Market goes out of business and becomes vacant? And what if, after that happens, I completely forget that these places existed at all?

I'm not good with letting go. Never have been. In fact, this is one reason why moving is such a chore for me: I want to keep EVERYTHING.

Indiana will always be home for me, I think. It's where I was born. It's where I grew up. I know my way around the streets. It's where all my friends and family are. And that's probably the biggest pain for me: the people. I want to see Mahlon grow up. I want to see Layla learn to walk. I want to be close to Niles. I want to help Lila with boy troubles; I want to support Mom when she's overwhelmed. Not that I can't do that from Philadelphia; it's just going to be a lot harder.

Owlet

So maybe I'm a little ahead of myself with this blog. I don't even leave Indiana for another week or two. But it's closing in fast, which is forcing me to really think about it all. I've never liked moving just because it's so much work, but this is going to put all my other moves to shame.

Right now, I'm mostly getting through it by reminding myself that in about six weeks, I'll be settled into a new schedule and life will regress to normalcy. A new kind of normal, but normal none the less.

The most recent news is I may have a roommate! It'll probably be good for me; I could use the support of another med student. But it worries me, because I'm not sure if I've ever lived with someone that I didn't end up despising at one time or another (family included!). So-- here's hoping.